


i didn't choose this (but given the choice i would)

by ThePackWantstheD



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altean Lance (Voltron), Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Canon Dialogue, Courtship, Growing Up Together, M/M, Reunions, teenage romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-06-22 07:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15576708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePackWantstheD/pseuds/ThePackWantstheD
Summary: Lance and Lotor had been engaged for as long as they had known each other, which was a long as they had both been alive. The engagement had been their fathers idea, a way for Alfor and Zarkon to become something more than just brothers-in-arms. Allura and Lotor were the same age, Lotor was only a few phoebs younger, but an engagement between the two of them was impossible given that they were both heirs. Allura could not be able to leave Altea for the Galra Empire and Lotor could not leave the Galra Empire for Altea. But Lance, a second child, was not bound to their Kingdom the way Allura was and his birth had given their fathers the chance to make an engagement.





	1. part of me is you

**Author's Note:**

> Just so everyone knows, I've used human ages for convenience safe, but it's safe to assume that in this story one Altean age is equivalent to somewhere between five and ten years since we know Altea and Galra have longer life spans - even without the rift. However, in this chapter they jump about two human years in every section - starting out with Lotor and Allura at seven while Lance is five.

"I don't want to play house," Lance said, voice holding a sharp whine. He was wearing a light blue that matched the markings on his face with gold lining the bottom, streaking through the arms, and wrapping around the cuffs. With it he wore a pair of white pants, not ideal for his usual outdoors activities but common enough on days when he was playing inside with Allura. "I wanna go to the field and play ball with Caspian and Arion."

"No, Lance," Allura said. She was wearing a soft pastel green dress with a small pink cape on her shoulders that had small green tear drops around the collar. Her arms were folded over her chest as she looked at her younger brother. Her hair had been pulled up into a high ponytail, keeping it out of her way. She was unrelenting, even if the face of her brother's coming tantrum. "You have to play house with Lotor and I!"

"Lancil doesn't have to play with us," Lotor said. While Alteans preferred light colors, Galra tended to wear darker ones. However, since they were visiting Altea, his governess had dressed him in a white shirt with lavender streaking through the sleeves. He wore black pants with two lavender streaks running down the outer legs. His hair had been short like Lance's, but his mother had always cut his hair for him instead of leaving it to the governess and she had been busy with her study of the rift recently so his hair was curling around the back of his neck and around his ears. "He can go play with his friends. I'm sure we can have fun by ourselves."

The younger boy grinned, pleased with Lotor taking his side.

"No!" Allura objected. "Lance has to play house with us! If it's just the two of us then one of us would have to be a single parent and that's no fun!"

"Why can't you and I just be married?" Lotor asked. "We can go get one of your dolls to be our child."

"Because you and Lance are engaged!" Allura said. "I can't marry you!"

Lance and Lotor had been engaged for as long as they had known each other, which was a long as they had both been alive. The engagement had been their fathers idea, a way for Alfor and Zarkon to become something more than just brothers-in-arms. Allura and Lotor were the same age, Lotor was only a few phoebs younger, but an engagement between the two of them was impossible given that they were both heirs. Allura could not be able to leave Altea for the Galra Empire and Lotor could not leave the Galra Empire for Altea. But Lance, a second child, was not bound to their Kingdom the way Allura was and his birth had given their fathers the chance to make an engagement.

"This is just a game," Lotor said. Lance found himself shifting towards the older boy, finding comfort in his attempts to free Lance from Allura's demands. "It's not like we're really getting married."

"You're going to marry Lance so you have to marry Lance!" Allura insisted. She spun around, dress swishing around her ankles, and started making her way down the hall. "Now come on! Let's go to the playroom! You and Lance are my parents so you have to make me dinner!"

Lotor and Lance watched her walk for a moment before Lotor sighed.

Looking down at the five year old next to him, Lotor said, "I am sorry I couldn't convince your sister to let you play with your friends, Lancil."

"It's okay. 'Lura is bossy. I wasn't expecting you'd be able to talk her out of it. She always makes me play games I don't wanna play," Lance said. He reached up, taking Lotor's hand in his and beginning to pull the seven year old down the way Allura went. "Lets go to the playroom. If we start playing now, then maybe the others will still be playing ball once she gets angry and kicks me out for not doing what she wants."

Lotor, having known the Prince his entire life and knowing that Lance was just as bossy as his sister, didn't bother arguing or pointing out that Lance didn't need to guide him to the playroom given that he spent several weekends a year in the Altean castle. 

* * *

Lance poked his head into the doorway, peering around the kitchen, before taking a step inside.

"It's empty," Lance said. "You guys can come in."

Given the go ahead, Allura and Lotor joined him in the kitchen.

"Okay!" Allura declared, scanning the room with her hands on nine year old hips. "The hunt for the cookies is on!"

Lotor and his family had arrived in Altea earlier in the day for an official diplomatic visit. Lotor came to Altea fairly frequently, but those visits weren't always official and diplomatic. Sometimes Lotor just tagged along in his father's lion so he could spend some time playing with Allura and Lance while their fathers were in a meeting with the other Paladins.

Today, however, was one of the official visits. Those always took place in Altea rather than Daibazaal since it was the one of the few times when Honerva was dragged away from her work in order to fulfill her duties as empress. Setting those meetings on her home world was a gift from her husband to her, a few days when she could spend time immersed in the culture she had grown up in and enjoy everything Altean that she couldn't enjoy on Daibazaal.

And because of that, the chefs in the Altean castle were always asked to cook as many delicious and traditional Altean meals as possible.

One of the things they always made where Star-Fruit Cookies.

They were the favorite of not only Honerva, but also of Allura. Hence why the Altean princess had dragged her little brother and Lotor into assisting her in an attempt to steal them from the kitchen before dinner.

"Are they on the drying rack?" Lance said, making his across the kitchen to the large rack of trays against the far wall.

"You check there," Allura agreed. "I'll go check the oven room!"

Allura made her way over there, disappearing into the backroom while Lotor and Lance continued searching the preparation area.

They searched quietly for a moment before Lotor said, "Oh."

"Did you find the cookies?" Lance asked.

"Not those cookies," Lotor said. "But I found a tray of pearl sticks."

Pearl sticks were a collection of flavored pearls which were made almost completely of sugar arranged in a large circle and molded together with a sticky substance whose flavor was subtle enough to balance out the sweetness of the pearls. They were Lance's absolute favorite sweet - and Lotor's as well. Unlike the Star-Fruit cookies that Allura liked, however, pearl sticks were so sweet that they weren't made very often.

"Pearl sticks!" Lance exclaimed. He left the drying racks immediately, running over to the Lotor. He threw himself against his back, looking around Lotor's side and down at the cooling drawer that Lotor had opened. "I want one!"

"I don't think we should take any," Lotor said, though he found himself wanting one as well. "I don't know if they're done yet. If we ruin them now, we might not get to have any later."

"Okay....but if we only take two, then all the others will still be there," Lance reasoned. He leaned further against Lotor, pushing him further into the drawer. Pushed forward as he had been, Lotor would have no problem reaching down to grab the sticks. "And then even if the ones we took aren't done, we'll still have all of those ones for later!"

Lotor bit his lip, considering.

He flicked his eyes up to the door Allura had gone through.

They'd come to her Star-Fruit cookies. They hadn't found them yet, but Lotor knew there would be some here _somewhere_.

If Allura was going to get a treat before dinner, then shouldn't he and Lance get to have one as well?

"Okay," Lotor said. He leaned forward, just a bit, and wrapped his fingers around one of the sticks. "Just one a piece, though."

"Yes!" Lance cheered. He moved away from Lotor, jumping gleefully behind him. "You're the best, Lotor!"

* * *

"Lancil?" Lance was sitting on the balcony outside of his bedroom. He'd wiggled his way between the bars, slotting his thighs between them and letting his feet dangle below him. His room was above the pond on the palace grounds. Lance had been watching the light blue water and tracking the flowers that moved across it so he didn't see who the speaker was, but considering there were only so many people who the guards would allow inside and only one person who called him by his proper name it wasn't difficult to guess who it was. "Are you alright? I thought you would want to play, but I haven't seen you all day."

Confusion flashed through Lance.

He looked away from the water, looking behind him to see Lotor.

The Galran Prince stood in the balcony doorway wearing a long-sleeved white shirt with a purple vest with gold trimming over it and a pair of gray pants. For most of their lives they had been around the same height, but both Lotor and Allura had shot up recently.

"You want to play with me?" Lance asked.

Lance's eyebrows furrowed, confused. "Yes? That is what we usually do when I visit."

"But you're Allura's age!" Lance said. "And she says she's too old to play now which means you're too old to play with me now too!"

"You have not come to see me because you think I am too old to play with you?" Lotor asked. Lance nodded. Lotor hummed quietly before stepping out onto the balcony properly. He walked across until he had reached Lance, then he lowered himself down to the ground. He folded his legs under him instead of slipping his legs through the bars like Lance, but Lance wasn't entirely certain Lotor /could/ without getting stuck. Lance was slim and lanky in a way that Lotor had never been. "Lancil, I am not your sister."

"I know that!"

"Let me finish," Lotor said, before Lance could say anything else. "I am not your sister, Lancil. Sometimes I want to do things that are for older kids - like practicing with my sword. Allura feels the same way, I'm sure. But unlike Allura, I do not live here with you, so I have plenty of time to do them without having to refuse to play with you when I am here."

Lance was quiet for moment before asking, "So that means you'll play with me?"

"Yes," Lotor said, nodding. He had been looking at Lance, but now he glanced out past the balcony before looking back Lance. "May I ask why you were simply sitting here, Lancil? Why did you not go to play with your friends?"

"I didn't want to play with them. I always play with you and 'Lura when your here."

There was another moment of silence before Lotor said, "Well, I don't think we should force Allura to play if she doesn't want to, but the two of us can play without her." He added, "Actually, it'll probably be more fun to play without Allura. We'll actually get to do what we want instead of getting dragged along by her."

* * *

Moving away from the dummy in front of him, Lance allowed himself to rock back on his heels and rest for a moment. The sword he had struck with, a wooden training sword since he wasn't allowed to use a real blade at all yet much less to use a real blade without his teacher or father supervising, hung loosely in his grip.

"Well, this is new."

Lance looked away from the training bot to find Lotor standing on the other-side of the training yard.

"Lotor!" Lance exclaimed, straightening up. A smile spread across his face, wide and happy, without a thought. Lotor had always been his friend, but that bond was deeper than ever. Allura and Lance had gotten over their differences as they grew, learning how to spend time together without either of them having to do something they didn't like, but those years when they hadn't spent much time together had put a distance between them that hadn't been there before. When they were children it had always been Allura-Lotor-and-Lance, but now days it was Allura and Lance-and-Lotor. "When did you get here? I thought the Paladin meeting wasn't until tomorrow!"

"It isn't. But my father wanted to come early to speak to King Alfor," Lotor said. Instead of the casual clothing he usually wore on Altea, he was wearing a black and dark red armor similar to his father. Nowadays, seeing Lotor in armor wasn't very uncommon. He wore it every time he came to Altea in his father's armor. He was only thirteen, still far from an acceptable age for battle, but his father had given him the armor for his birthday so that he could begin getting used to moving with armor weighing him down. Lotor gestured around them, "When did this start? I thought your father hadn't let you start training yet?"

"After you left last time, I begged until he gave in."

"And it worked?"

"Only once I got Mama involved."

It startled a laugh from Lotor.

For all of the differences between their fathers, and despite the men's love for each other there were many, their greatest similarity was in how they fell over themselves for their wives.

"Well, would you like my help?" Lotor asked, moving across the field and towards Lance. "I'm willing to bet you aren't allowed to spar with a real partner yet since you've just started training, but I could give you some tips."

"Really?"

"Did you have something else you wanted to do?"

Lance shook his head. "No."

"Then yes, really," Lotor said. He stepped into Lance's space, pushing his toes against the side of Lance's foot so that it slid out. "And my first tip is to widen your stance. I know that you're only training with dummies now, but when you have an opponent you will need to be able to stay steady when something hits you back. You'll do that better when your feet aren't so close together."

* * *

Lotor was drifting, feeling exhausted but also warm and content.

It was his fifteenth birthday.

Most of the morning and the afternoon had been spent on his coming of age ceremony. The Galran Empire was at peace now, but it had been a warrior race for most of it's history and it showed in their traditions. Lotor had had to fight his way through a series of challengers, leading up to a fight against his father. The goal hadn't been to defeat his father, Lotor was shaping into a good warrior but he was no where near good enough to take on a paladin of Voltron, but simply to prove that he wasn't a child that his father had to watch over anymore, to prove that he could stand on equal footing as the man who had raised him.

There was a party once the battle was over, Lotor knocked off his feet by his father but only after several impressive dobashs.

The party was still raging around them, but Lotor had removed himself from the crowd.

Instead he was sitting against one of the walls outside of the ballroom with Lance. Their shoulders and thighs were pressed together. Lotor had slipped sideways so he could rest his head against Lance's shoulder. They would go back inside in a little while, but for now Lotor was enjoying this one moment of peace in an otherwise hectic day.

Lance thrived on attention and he'd been enjoying talking to people at the party, but he hadn't hesitated in agreeing to leave for a little while when Lotor once he became overwhelmed by well-wishers and the unfamiliar warmth of alcohol in his stomach.

"Lotor," Lance said, voice quiet. Lotor hummed, encouraging Lance to go on. He knew that Lance would understand him even if he didn't say anything out-loud. It was something that came with having known each other for thirteen years, with having spent the last four years as each other's closest confidant. "Are you going to court anyone now that your of age?"

"Of course not," Lotor said. "I'm engaged to you."

The two of them didn't talk about their engagement, didn't talk about the arrangement that had been before they had started building any sort of friendship between them. For a long time it had been irrelevant. They were engaged, but they had been children and it hadn't mattered.

It mattered to Lotor now, had mattered to Lotor for just over a year, but Lance was only thirteen. There would be two more years before he was old enough to court by Galran standards and even longer before he came of age in the eyes of the Altean people.

Lance was quiet for a moment before saying, "I wouldn't mind if you did. If that would make you happy."

"You make me happy," Lotor said.

There was a quiet moment before Lance said, "You make me happy, too."

"Good." Lotor rubbed his cheek against Lance's shoulder and murmured, "Lancil, I'm glad I ended up engaged to you instead of Allura."

"I'm glad you ended up engaged to me too," Lance said. 

* * *

"Lancil."

Lance had been engaged in a conversation with one of Altea's diplomats, but at the sound of his name he turned with a large smile on his face.

Though it was his fifteenth birthday and the room was filled with his friends, there was only one person who called his full name without adding his title in front so there was no doubt in his mind about who was calling for him.

Prince Lancil was for strangers and official business, Prince Lance was for friends, and Lance was for close family and friends.

Lancil was for Lotor.

Only for Lotor.

"Lotor! Finally! I haven't seen you all-"

Lance's words cut off abruptly as he finally laid on Lotor.

Instead of standing in front of him, Lotor was knelt on one knee. He had a dagger clasped in his hands. The blade was made of a blue that matched Lance's eyes and the colors of Altea's royalty while the hilt was gold. Lance thought it might have been made of sea glass. The thought was enough to make him dizzy, because sea glass didn't exist anywhere on Altea or Daibazaal.

"Lancil," Lotor said, a quiet acknowledgement of Lance.

Lance knew that the entire room had to be looking at them and that they all had to know what was going on. Altea and the Galran Empire had been allied that there had been many marriages between the two planets. Lotor's own parents hadn't been the first, even if they were the most prolific. Everyone on Altea knew what Galran courtship rituals looked like - everyone knew that the first gift they gave their intended was a weapon crafted specifically for them.

"Lotor," Lance said. He felt a bit like he was having an out of body experience. "What are you doing? I'm not of age yet."

"Not on Altea, but you are on my planet," Lotor said. He did not look up at Lance, keeping his eyes on the floor like the custom said. He would only be able to look at Lance once Lance gave him an answer - when his movement would force Lance to either see the happiness or heartbreak that he had caused. "I spoke to your father and he said it would be alright."

"He did?"

"Yes. He understood my reasons," Lotor said.

"What reasons?"

"We're engaged to be married once we're both of age. But the emotions I feel for you have nothing to do with the marriage our father's arranged and I would like a chance to prove those feelings to you, to court you, before our marriage."

"I accept," Lance said. Now that he had heard Lotor's feelings, Lance fell to his knees and snatched the dagger from Lotor's grasp. He threw his arms around him, mindful of the weapon in his hands. He had had a crush on Lotor for as long as he could remember. It had started growing into something more the day of Lotor's coming age, when Lance had been struck by the fear of falling out of his best friend's favor. It had grown into something warm and fond and lovely in the two years since then, grasping tightly at Lance's heart. He wouldn't have rejected Lotor's suit, was far too in love with his best friend to have even considered it, but knowing that his feelings were returned and that Lotor was genuinely offering his suit guaranteed that Lance would accept. "Of course, I accept your suit. Of course I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hello everyone!! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this story!
> 
> 2) POV on this was MEANT to be all Lance, but it got fucked along the way. Hopefully it didn't end up confusing.
> 
> 3) I worry that at times the characters act younger or older than they are, but I think kids are generally like that anyway. They kinda just do whatever the hell feels right. 
> 
> 4) I worry that this chapter is disjointed given all of the time skipping? but honestly I just wanted to highlight moments in their childhood as they grew up together.


	2. loving you is easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't seen The Legend Begins - season three, episode seven which covers the events surrounding the original paladins and the rise of the Galra Empire - recently or don't remember it well, I'd recommend rewatching it or at least brushing up on it before reading this chapter as the final few sections covers the end of that episode, but in a vague way which assumes you know what happens.

"Lance, you're late."

Lance winced at his mother's voice. He'd been trying to sneak into the entry hallway, where his family was waiting for their guests to arrive, without her noticing, but he'd known from the beginning that it would end up being futile. No one did anything in the castle without his mother knowing about it.

Straightening up, Lance could see the smile on his father's lips and the way Allura was laughing into a closed fist. His mother was watching Lance, one arm looped through his father's and one eyebrow raised. There was something like amusement in her eyes, but Lance knew that even if she was amused with him he wouldn't be granted a reprieve from his mother's questioning.

"I know. I'm sorry, Mama," Lance said. "I was in the pool."

"On a day when you knew we were going to have visitors?" she asked. "And especially on a day when one of those visitors is here specifically to see you?"

"Lance went for a swim _because_  one of the visitors is coming to see him," Allura said, voice teasing. Lance found himself deeply regretting his run in with his sister earlier that morning. She'd bothered him about going to the pool when she caught him in his trunks and Lance had only told her why so that she would leave him alone. He didn't think she was going to blab to their parents. "He was so nervous about seeing Lotor that he couldn't concentrate and needed something to do."

"Really?" his father asked, a note of concern in his voice. "You're that nervous about seeing him? Do you not want him to court you? Should I have told him-"

"Alfor, it's not the bad kind of nervous. It's an excited kind of nervous," his mother interrupted, sounding fondly exasperated. "Correct, Lance?"

"Yes, Mama," Lance said. He felt his face flush, embarrassment covering his cheeks with a splotchy red blush.

There was a quiet moment before his father said, "Aw. That's absolutely adorable."

" _Dad,_ " Lance whined, feeling his face grow even warmer.

"Your majesty," said one of the guards near the front of the room. "Emperor Zarkon, the Prince, and their party are coming in now."

"Alright," his mother said. "Lance, next to your sister please."

"Yes, Mama," Lance agreed. He was torn between relief that this conversation was over and a new fluttering of nerves bolstered by the knowledge that Lotor was in the palace now.

There had been communications since Lance's birthday, lots of video calls whenever they were both free from their duties, but this would be Lotor's first visit to Altea since their courtship had began. It would be the first time they saw each other in person since then.

The doors swung open, followed by an announcement from the guards and than the heavy movement of feet across the floor.

Lance kept his gaze away from the party the entire time.

He wanted to see Lotor, but he was so nervous that it was hard to swallow that down. He wasn't entirely certain how he was going to react once he saw Lotor. Not looking at him now made it easier not to think about the fact that Lotor was in the room and Lance would be able to touch him soon.

"Okay, formalities over," Lance heard his father say, his diplomatic voice giving way to his usual jovial and friendly demeanor. "Zarkon, let me show you what I've been working on?"

Lance didn't hear the rest of what his father said.

Instead he heard, "Lancil."

"Lotor," Lance said, looking up from the floor to find Lotor was already standing in front of him.

There wasn't much space between Lance's father and Lance, but the distance was large enough that Lotor would only have crossed it that quickly if he'd been in a hurry. It soothed something in him to know that Lotor was as eager to see him as he was to see Lotor.

"May I?" Lotor asked, gesturing for Lance's hand. Lance nodded, lifting his arm so Lotor could take his hand in his own. He bowed his head to press his lips against Lance's hand. He murmured against Lance's skin, "I am very happy to see you again."

There were butterflies in Lance's stomach and a large smile on his lips as Lance answered, "I'm happy to see you too."

It was strange to be in this new place after having known Lotor his entire life, but it would have been a lie to say that he wasn't happy to be starting something new with Lotor. 

* * *

"Did you really get permission to do this?" Lotor asked.

"Does it matter?" Lance responded as he flopped himself down into the pilot's seat of Lotor's cruiser. Lotor set himself up behind Lance. He rested against the pilot's chair, but didn't lean into it enough to put any real pressure on it.

"We're already here so I suppose not," Lotor said. "But I'd still rather have your father's permission before taking you flying. I don't want him to decide to cancel the courtship."

"My father isn't going to end the courtship," Lance said. He ran his hand along the dashboard as he spoke, noting the differences between this and the Altean cruisers he had flown before. He also took note of the difference between the cruiser and the controls of his father's lion. He hadn't been allowed in the Red Lion as a child, but when Lance had started his piloting lessons the year before Alfor had agreed to let him take a peak in it. It had been beautiful and awe-inspiring. Lance was Altean and as such he had spent parts of his childhood pretending to be a paladin, but sitting in the lion his father piloted had made that desire something more real. "He agreed to let you court me early because he knew how we felt about each other. He wouldn't take that away from me."

"I just don't want to overstep."

"I'm already on the ship."

Lotor was quiet for a moment before saying, "Should I take all of this to mean that you did not get your father's permission like you told me you did?"

"I ask and he did give permission," Lance corrected. "I just happened to ask when he was working and wasn't really paying attention to what I was saying."

Lotor let out a heavy sigh.

"Does that mean you aren't going to let me fly?" Lance asked, leaning against the chair and tilting his head back so that he was looking up at Lotor.

Lotor was quiet for a moment before saying, "As you pointed out, we're already in the ship. It would be a shame to leave without at least taking her up."

Lance let out a soft 'woop,' delighted in the win, as he straightened and looked forward again.

For a moment there, he had been genuinely concerned that Lotor wasn't going to let him fly the ship. He understood what Lotor was worried about, even if he didn't think it was necessary to worry about his dad breaking their courtship, so Lance would have accepted it if Lotor gave him a clear cut now. He was happy that he didn't have to accept one, though.

"There aren't that many difference between this and an Altean cruiser," Lotor said. He leaned in, arms snacking around the back of the chair and coming around Lance as he reached for the controls. His breath was warm against Lance's ear as he spoke and it took all of Lance's effort to stay focused on Lotor's words instead of getting lost in his voice. "So I'll explain what differences there are and then you can give it a go, okay?"

"Okay," Lance agreed, knowing his voice was a little squeaker than usual. He cleared his throat, ignoring the small smile he saw fall over Lotor's lips, before nodding and repeating. "Okay. Show me what to do."

* * *

"Are we supposed to let them do that?"

"They're holding hands, Chiarra. They aren't exactly tarnishing their virtues."

Lance heard the first guard's breath hitch nervously. Then they asked, quiet and sounding a little out of depth, "Is that something we have to worry about? Are we going to have to get in between _that_?"

"Do you really think either of them are stupid enough to do that in front of us? They've been courting for a while already. I'm sure they've figured out how to sneak around without being caught."

"Lancil, are you uncomfortable?"

Lotor's words drew Lance's attention away from their guards and back to the man at his side.

Lance hummed a bit thinking, before he said, "A little bit. It's strange to have someone following us now when we used to be able to do whatever we wanted without worry."

"We were never allowed to go to public like this without guards," Lotor said.

They were walking through a garden in a spa on Altea, calming their minds before they began the treatment prepared for their bodies. There was a large pond bisecting the garden and the two of them were walking across the bridge that crossed it, the two guards with them following behind.

Lance had been ecstatic when Lotor told him what he had planned for their date, it wasn't their first but Lance hoped it was far from their last as well. Spa days had been something he had done with his mother as a child. It was something Lance's mother always made time for, one day every other month when she was guaranteed time with her children. Those spa trips had instilled in him a deep respect for his body and a desire to take care of it.

He was glad it was a belief that Lotor shared.

"Yes, but the guards weren't chaperones before," Lance said. "It's strange to know that they're watching us now and judging our actions to make sure we don't do anything inappropriate."

"I don't think most of them care that much," Lotor said. A small, teasing smile settled on his lips as he added, "And why does it matter if they're watching for us to do something inappropriate? Were you planning on doing something you shouldn't?"

"No!"

"Are you sure? Should I be worried about attempts on my virtue?"

"No!" Lance repeated, feeling torn between embarrassment and amusement. They had been standing near each other as they walked, close enough that they could link their fingers, and Lance used the distance to lightly hip check Lotor. "Stop it."

"I don't know if I should let my guard down like that," Lotor said. "I feel like I have to stay aware in order to-"

"If you say protect your virtue," Lance said, stopping in his tracks, "I am going to shove you over the railing and into the pond."

"You would never."

"Maybe, but are you really willing to test that theory?" There was a quiet moment before Lotor hummed, neither agreeing or disagreeing. Lance took it for the win that it was and tugged on Lotor's hand as he started walking again. "Come on. This garden is nice, but I'm ready to get a massage."

Lotor had more than enough power to keep Lance from moving him, but he let Lance tug him along without any resistance. "Whatever you want."

* * *

"I always forget how soft it is," Lance murmured as he combed his fingers through Lotor's hair. He didn't have nearly as much of it as Allura or Lance's mother, but it was longer than it had ever been before and fell just past his shoulders. At seventeen Lotor still refused to let anyone other than his mother cut his hair, but Honerva had been so busy with her research that she rarely left the rift nowadays and it had been ages since the last time she had been available to trim Lotor's locks. Humming gently, Lance asked, "Ponytail, braid, or bun?"

Lotor was more than capable of doing it himself, but coming to Lance and having him do it before they slept had been a good excuse for them to spend time together when they were supposed to be in separate rooms. Lance had always kept his hair short, but he'd watched his sister and mother do their hair often enough that he'd picked up how to do a few basic styles and late night hair styling had become something they did every night that Lotor stayed on Altea.

"Bun," Lotor said.

The two of them were sitting in Lance's room, Lance on the bed while Lotor sat on the floor between his knees. They had the door open, so that the guards standing outside the room would be able to see them. They weren't supposed to be alone like this, especially not in a bedroom when it was so late that the sun had gone down and the sky had turned dark, but they had been courting long enough that people gave them a little bit of leeway. The rules of courtship were always the same, but people tended to be less strict about them as time went on and a couple proved how much they cared for each other.

"Okay," Lance agreed.

He scratched at Lotor's scalp for a moment, enjoying the purr that Lotor let out, before combing his fingers through his hair again. Then he shifted so he could grab the brush off the bed next to him. As he shifted back, he stuck the brush into his mouth so that he could gather Lotor's hair in his hands. Once he had it held loosely in his grip, he dropped one of his hands in order to grab the brush.

Lance hummed, almost absently, as he worked.

It was easy to lose himself in this moment, in heat of Lotor's shoulders touching his knees and the silk of Lotor's hair moving against the pads of Lance's fingers.

"There we go," Lance said as he finished.

He glanced at the doorway to make sure the guards weren't watching them before bending down to press a kiss against the back of Lotor's head.

Lotor hummed before tipping backwards, looking up at Lance.

"That was not a proper kiss," Lotor complained, voice a soft whisper as he tried to avoid being heard by the guards outside.

"Proper kisses do not happen when the guards are right there," Lance said, speaking in the same quiet voice. They'd gotten good over the course of their courtship at finding the time to sneak away, at finding alcoves to duck into for quick kisses before their chaperones noticed.

"The guards aren't watching us," Lotor said.

Lance bit down on his lip, considering. If they got caught it would be a long time then their hair-styling sessions wouldn't be allowed and it would be a while before they found another moment like this. But a proper kiss did sound nice.

Lance glanced at the door again before bending down quickly and pressing their lips together.

It was just a peck, but it was enough for smiles to settle on both of their faces.

"I should go," Lotor murmured when the kiss broke. Lance didn't move away immediately, so the words brushed along his lips.

"Yeah," Lance agreed.

Despite their words, neither of them moved.

* * *

Lance sat at the edge of the pool with his feet dangling inside, kicking lightly and watching the movement of the water around him.

He and Lotor had come to the pool to spend time together, though it wasn't quite a date. They'd spent a while swimming. Lotor wasn't nearly as comfortable in the water as Lance was so Lance had been pleased with how long Lotor had stayed in with him and content to climb out as well once Lotor did.

Lance had been expecting that they'd dry off and go look through the kitchens for something to eat, but instead once Lotor had handed Lance his towel and then asked him to wait while he went to get something.

"I'm sorry I took so long."

Lance looked away from the water to find Lotor had come back into the room, making his way towards Lance. There was a small box in his hand that Lance vaguely recognized. Not because he knew what was in it, but because he'd seen his mother and sister with boxes like it before.

He noticed that the guards that were chaperoning them didn't come back into the room with Lotor. He wondered what was so private about the present that they were being left alone while Lotor gave it to him.

"Is that a necklace?" Lance asked.

"You're supposed to let me bring the present to you before you try guessing what it is," Lotor said.

"I'm impatient," Lance said, shrugging.

Reaching him, Lotor lowered himself to sit next to him. He didn't dip his feet in the water the way Lance was, but folded his legs under him.

"It is a necklace," Lotor said, setting the box between them. There was something in his tone that kept Lance from reaching to grab it. "I thought it might have been long enough, that we had grown close enough as a couple rather than just friends, that we could take the next step in our courtship."

Lance thought for a second, mind running through the steps that they'd already gone through. Not everything was as obvious as the initial proposal.

"It's a token," Lance said at last, looking down at the box.

Starting a courtship was a promise to spend time together and try to become something more than they had been before. A token was a promise, a visual sign to anyone who saw it. Tokens were given when the couple were ready to commit to their future. A token was what changed a courtship into an engagement.

"If you would like it," Lotor said. "If you aren't ready for it then-"

"I am," Lance said without hesitation. "I don't have one for you, though..."

"You can get me one later," Lotor said. He reached for the box resting between them and pushed it gently towards Lance. "Don't let that stop you from taking this, though. I got it for you because I want you to have it."

Lance was quiet for a moment before nodding, "Alright then."

He leaned forward, picking the box up. He took a moment, running his fingers over the smoothness of the box, before opening it up in one quick motion.

Nestled inside the box was a small, glowing purple crystal. It wasn't the deep purple of most Galra skin tones, but rather the lighter violet of Lotor's. It was attached to a black cord. Lance couldn't tell what it was exactly, but he thought it might have been some sort of leather.

It was simple, but something about it resonated with Lance.

"It's perfect," Lance said, reaching out to set his fingers against the cord. He looked back up, meeting Lotor's eyes. "Thank you. I love it."

"I'm glad." Lotor hesitated for a moment before bracing his hands on the ground between them and leaning forward to brush their lips together. Lance moved forward, happy to return the kiss. When they pulled apart, Lotor rested his forehead against Lance's before murmuring, "I love you, Lancil."

"I love you too, Lotor."

* * *

"You got it," Lance said, bringing the communicator closer to him so he could see the image better. Lotor had his wrist held out towards the screen, showing Lance the bracelet on his wrist. It was made of tiny glass beads the color of the sea, the color of the Altean marks that glowed on Lance's cheeks. "Do you like it?"

"I do," Lotor said, pulling his wrist away. He moved the camera so that Lance had a good look at his face rather than just his arm. "It reminds me of you."

"It's supposed to."

Lotor smiled at him for a moment before it dropped away. His voice was soft as he said, "I'm sorry I couldn't make it to Altea to get it from you in person."

"Don't apologize for that," Lance said, shaking his head. "I'm sorry I couldn't come to Daibazaal to give it to you."

"No," Lotor said, a firmness coming into his voice. "I'm glad you aren't here."

Lance was quiet for a moment, wondering if he should take the opportunity that Lotor had given him, before finally asking, "How is your mother doing?"

Lotor's mother's health had been declining for a while now. It was part of why Lance hadn't been allowed to visit Daibazaal even as they grew older. As children Lotor had visited them on Altea because it was easier given that Alfor had two children and a wife that always accompanied him to drag around, but now Lance wasn't allowed on Daibazaal because his father had seen the effect the rift had had on Honerva. Lance would never be as close to the rift for as long as Honerva was, but his father worried and preferred to keep Lance where he knew he was safe.

"The doctors do not believe she will make it through the new few quintants."

Lance frowned. He'd known that the prognosis wasn't good, things had grown severe enough that Alfor had taken Lance's courtship token to Lotor because he had already been on his way to comfort "I thought she had a few phoebs."

Lotor shrugged instead of saying anything, mouth turned down in a frown and gaze focused over Lance's shoulder. Hurt squeezed at Lance's heart. Honerva may have spent too much time working and not enough time being a mother, but she still _was_  one and Lotor loved her. Lance couldn't imagine going through what Lotor was.

"I'm sorry, Lotor," he said, unable to come up with anything else to say even though he knew it wasn't very comforting. "I know I can't make it all go away...but is there anything I can do to help?" Lotor shook his head. Lance was quiet for a moment, trying to figure out if there was a way he could help that Lotor couldn't think of in his grief. After a moment, he said, tentatively, "Do you remember when we were kids and your mom almost got into a fight with Allura over the last Star-Fruit cookie?"

"Yes," Lotor said.

He didn't smile, exactly, but there was a change in his expression that spurred Lance on, "It was when Blaytz was with that On'ee boy, remember? And he had never had Star-Fruit, but he loved it so Blaytz kept handing him cookies...."

* * *

"Lancil."

"Lotor," Lance said. He didn't hesitate to close the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Lotor and pulling him tightly against him. Lotor went still. Lance pressed his hand between Lotor's shoulder blades, a light pressure that he knew Lotor would find comforting. A firmer touch would ground Lotor more, make it easier for him to remember Lance was here. He reassured him, "We sent all of the guards out. My father is the only other person in this room. You don't have to stay strong."

There was another moment before Lotor melted into Lance's hold, body going loose as he wrapped his arms around Lance's waist and allowed himself to sink into Lance's hold.

"I knew I would lose my mother soon," Lotor said. "I didn't think I would lose my father at the same time."

Hearing the grief and pain in Lotor's voice broke Lance's heart into pieces. Lotor had always been the strong one. Lance was sensitive and overly emotional. He got far too invested in the people he knew, wanting to make everyone from casual acquaintances to his closest family members happy.

Lotor had always kept his cards closer to his chest. He liked talking to people, but he didn't form attachments as easily as Lance did. He had fewer people that he considered close to him. But every single one of the people that were close to him meant so much to him that they carried pieces of Lotor's soul with them.

Losing two of those people - losing the only two people who carried pieces of Lotor bigger than Lance himself did - in such a small amount of time was breaking Lotor in a way that nothing else ever had.

"I am so sorry," Lance said. With Lotor slumped the way he was, Lance was the taller of the two of them. He leaned down, pressing his cheek against the top of Lotor's head. "I am so so sorry that this happened to you, Lotor."

They wouldn't have very much time together.

Alfor had brought Lotor to Altea for Zarkon and Honerva's state funeral, but Lotor wouldn't be able to stay longer than that. Not when Daibazaal was gone. The Galran people had been left without a planet to call home or a leader to guide them. Lotor would have to step into his father's shoes quickly, without the luxury of time to grieve for all that he had lost.

Lance's father would do his best to help Lotor with that, to help the boy that he would one day call son and who was all he had left of his greatest friend, but he wouldn't be allowed to assist for several phoebs. Lotor couldn't simply do what the King of Altea told him, not on the back of a disaster like this. He would have to speak to his father's old advisers, would have to find a way to prove himself to his lost people before he started taking advice from foreign leaders.

He had to look strong first, had to prove that when he took advice it wasn't because he was weak or a pushover.

So they didn't have very long together, but Lance was determined to be there for Lotor as long as he could.

He would not let his fiancee leave Altea believing that he had lost everyone he loved, he would make sure Lotor knew that he still had Lance and that Lance would be there for him whenever he needed him. 

* * *

 

 

 

"Dad, what are we doing in here?" Lance asked, as Alfor pulled him through the Lions hangars. Yellow and Green were gone, Trigel and Gyrgan having left with them phoebs ago. Black had been sealed away back when the war had began, locked down to keep her from Zarkon's clutches. So only Blue and Red remained, Red because his father piloted her and Blue because Blaytz had fallen already. "Where is Allura?"

"Your sister is in a cyropod," Alfor said, speaking for the first time since he had grabbed Lance off the battlements.

Lance had thought, at first, that his father had come to find him because there was information on Lotor. Since his father's mysterious resurrection and the beginning of the war, Lotor had fallen off the Earth. No one on Altea had seen or heard from him. And even captured Galran soldiers seemed to have no idea what had happened to their Prince. With Lance kept from the battle, not allowed to engage directly when he was second in line for the throne, he hadn't seen much of his father outside of the times when he tracked him down to ask if there was any new information on his lover.

He realized he was wrong pretty quickly as his father began to pull him through the castle without saying anything.

"What?" Lance said. "Why would you do that?"

"Altea is falling, my son," Alfor said. "And I will die for our people as I have lived for them, but I will not let this war take my children's lives as well."

"What?" Lance said, still unable to process everything going on. "Then why am I down here? Why aren't I with Allura?"

"Because if I seperate you than there's a better chance that at least one of you will live," Alfor said.

Lance was surprised to see the Blue Lion sinking down for them as they approached, opening her mouth to allow them in.

"Why are we going to Blue then? Shouldn't we be going to Red so you can fly-"

"I'm not flying," Alfor said. "You are."

Their run came to an abrupt stop at the beginning of Blue's walkway.

Lance found himself turned so that he was looking in his father's eyes, strong calloused hands on either side of his cheeks.

"You are going to take Blue and fly her somewhere far, far away from here," Alfor said. "Somewhere that Zarkon will not be able to find her or you."

"What? Dad, I can't-"

"You can and you will. I believe in you." Alfor leaned forward, pressing a kiss against Lance's forehead. Then he shoved Lance hard, putting distance between them before backing out of Blue. Lance tried to scramble to his feet and move forward, tried to reach for his father as he began processing the situation, but Blue was already closing her jaws and his father was too far away. The last thing Lance heard before her mouth shut was his father saying, "I love you, Lancil."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> 2) This chapter covers several years but Lance and Lotor's age is stagnant pretty much the entire time as far as human equivalency goes? Hopefully that was clear. 
> 
> 3) Oh man I feel like the characterizations in this chapter are all over the place? I'd love your opinions on it. 
> 
> 4) The end of this chapter is maybe a little rushed, but this story is meant to focus on Lance and Lotor's relationship. I didn't want to dwell on Altea's fall.


	3. the me now, the you now, what's the we now?

_The water lapping at your skin was cold when you first stepped into it, close to freezing. You don't know how long you've been floating in it, but you know that you've grown accustomed to the feeling of it now. You know that it no longer feels cold to you, that you no longer shiver as it licks at your skin. You know that you have been here long enough that the water has begun to feel like apart of you, like water runs through you instead of blood._

_'Soon,' the water whispered. Her voice sounded like the whistle of a sea breeze, like the rhythmical cracking of waves breaking against rocks, like the chirping of animals beneath the waters surface. You don't know how long you've been here, but you know that she has been the only sound you've heard, that she has been your only companion. 'Soon, soon, soon.'_

_'What is soon?' you asked. You don't know how long you've been here, but you know that you have had this conversation with her many times before, all of them recently. You have never been here without her voice, but recently she hasn't said anything except this to you. Whatever she is waiting for - whatever is coming soon - had captured so much of her attention that she will not talk about anything else. 'What is happening soon?'_

_'Soon,' the water whispered. You're prepared to ask her again, to continue this looping conversation that you've been stuck in, but before you could think the words, she whispered again, 'Soon it'll be time for you to wake up.'_

_'Wake up,' you repeated, confused and uncertain. You don't know how long you've been here, but it's been long enough that you no longer remember anything except the water. You don't remember going to sleep. 'Am I leaving you?'_

_'No,' the water whispered. Her voice was like rain pounding against the window in the middle of a storm, harsh and unrelenting. Protective. 'You are my cub. You are not leaving me. You are just waking up.'_

 

"-one inside," someone said, deep unfamiliar voice cracking through Lance's sleep. Lance didn't know how long he'd been asleep, but he thought it must have been a long time because he was the kind of sleepy-warm that came with having slept for too long and he was finding it hard to gather the energy to open his eyes. There was a quiet moment before the voice spoke again, saying, "Uuuh....I'm pretty sure it's a dude. Altean, I think. His hair's brown, not some weird color like Coran and Allura's, but he's got the marks under his eyes. Light blue like Coran's."

The names stirred something in Lance's brain, a familiar feeling of warmth and affection and safety.

It was enough to push away from the sleepiness, to give him the energy to shift.

"Okay, he's definitely alive. He's moving." Lance heard boots moving against metal, then a warm hand came down on his arm. "Hey? Buddy? I don't know if you can understand me, but if you can I need you to wake up." Lance shifted again, groaning as his body slowly woke up. "Seriously, dude, I need you to get up because we're a few thousand feet under an ocean right now and I'm gonna need to change my plans if I have to get you, myself, and this lion out of here."

Lance groaned again, sharp and annoyed this time.

He might have been awake now, but that didn't mean he wanted to listen to some stranger chat his ear off.

He opened his eyes, shifting in the direction that he heard the voice. He had a retort on his tongue, something sharp that he hoped would get the man to shut up, but it died when he locked onto purple eyes.

The voice was unfamiliar, but the eyes were familiar enough to bring a memory to the surface of Lance's mind. Lance felt suddenly aware of the necklace he was wearing, of the small warm crystal he could feel pressed against his chest.

Instead of what he'd wanted to say, he murmured, "Lotor?"

"I don't know who that is," the man said. "My name's Keith."

* * *

There was a sharp knock on the door of Lance's bedroom, then Allura's said, voice soft, "Lance? Would it be alright for me to come in?"

Lance had been lying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling and trying to get used to the feeling of the world around him, but now he swung himself upwards into a sitting position.

"Yes," he called out. "You can come in, Allura."

His sister didn't waste anytime, the door sliding open before he had even finished his sentence.

Lance looked at her in the doorway and thought, _This is the only family I have left._

Adjusting to the feeling of the world, adjusting to not floating in the waters of Blue's mind, was strange, but even stranger than that was adjusting to the fact that ten thousand years had gone by, adjusting to the fact that Altea was gone, adjusting to the fact that he was one of only three Altean's left in the universe.

"Hi," Allura greeted, stepping inside of his room. The door slid shut behind her.

"Hello," he returned.

He moved over on his bed, leaving room for her to sit down next to him.

She did.

They sat there for a moment, their thighs pressed together and neither of them saying anything.

Their reunion earlier had been emotional. Allura had been waiting for him when he stepped out of the the Blue Lion, having flown it into the Castle, and she had thrown himself at him before he had even stepped all the way off of the ramp. She had cried against his chest, tears staining his shirt, and Lance had buried his face in her hair and cried some tears of his own. He hadn't then exactly what the damage to Altea was, but he had known what the world was like when his father had sent him away and he had remembered his father's words - how he had sent them in different directions expecting that only one of them would survive. He had known enough to know that holding his sister in his arms again was a miracle.

This was something quieter, something heavy with their grief instead of their relief.

Sitting there with the death of their family and their people heavy between them, Lance felt an overwhelming urge to ask Allura about Lotor, to ask if she had heard anything before their father had put her in the cryochamber or if she had heard anything during the time she had been awake without him.

Sitting there with the knowledge that he had already lost his family, Lance wanted desperately to know if he had lost the love of his life as well, wanted desperately to know if he had lost _everything_ except his sister or if Lotor was still out there somewhere.

He wanted to ask, but he didn't.

There was something in the way Allura had spoken about the Galra when explaining things to him earlier, something in the way she closed her body language off in those moments, that kept him from saying the words he was thinking. 

* * *

Lance doesn't tell anyone on the ship about Lotor.

He can't imagine who he would tell.

Allura who seems to have forgotten everything good about the Galra? Coran who doesn't seem to have forgotten anything, but whose good spirits they rely on to keep them going? Shiro who was captured and tortured by them or Pidge whose family has been taken by them? Keith who wavers between antagonistic and uncaring, who bites insults and who grows awkward under compliments? Hunk who is so kind and gentle that Lance fears he won't be able to see past the actions of the Galra he's seen so far, that he empathizes with the people so much that he won't understand that there was a before?

No.

Lance can't tell any of them about Lotor.

He can't tell any of them about the things that bubble inside of him - can't talk about not knowing what came of Lotor during or after the war, can't talk about how it feels not to know whether Lotor was by his father's side during the destruction of Lance's home or if he tried to fight it, can't talk about the knowledge that even if Lotor survived the war it has been ten thousand years and Galran lifespans are long but not usually _that_  long.

It's all a lot to deal with and Lance has no idea how to even begin.

So instead he ignores all of it.

He ignores the pain of a lost love by flirting with every beautiful thing he sees, ignores the sharp thrill of relief that always comes with being turned down and the sharp discomfort of an unseen betrayal that comes with his advances being met. He ignores the bonds that he's lost in favor of trying to connect with the earthlings that pilot Voltron with him, tries not to think about the crystal necklace that he never takes off when Hunk begins to court a Balmeran girl and tries not to think about what he was doing at Pidge's age when the others lament on her being too young to be doing all of this with them, tries not to think about the boy that kneeled in front of Lance at his fifteenth birthday and asked for Lance's hand.

Some days are harder than others.

There isn't a single day that he would call easy.

* * *

Lance allowed Allura's distrust of the Blade of Mamora and her mistreatment of Keith for a few days after Keith's heritage came out.

He never approved of it, but he knew that Allura had been doing her best to think of the Galra as enemies rather than as former allies or people and understood why Allura would be upset to learn someone close to her had Galran blood. So he made sure Keith knew that Lance was on his side, made sure that Keith knew that Lance didn't care about Keith being half Galra, and sat in on his sister's meetings with the Blades of Mamora in an effort to make sure there was a friendly voice in the room.

He let things go on like that for almost a week before he cornered her after a meeting that was supposed to be spent working out the terms of their alliance but had mostly involved Allura glaring at the Blades and forcing them to explain their every move.

"You can not keep doing this," Lance said.

His hand was on Allura's arm, his sister having refused to stop when he'd called after her. He'd used the hold to pull her into one of the Castle's many unused corridors, someplace where they could talk without worrying about Paladins or Coran or the leaving Blades hearing them.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Allura said, yanking out of his grip. He felt bad for handling his sister the way he had, but somethings needed to be said and if she wouldn't willingly give him the time to say them than he was going to force her to give him the time.

"You absolutely do," Lance responded. Still, he elaborated, "You can not keep treating the Blade of Mamora as though they're our enemies or Keith like he's the scourge of the Earth. The Blades are _allies_  and Keith is our teammate. He's our friend."

"They're Galra!" she hissed.

"Yes and?" he said. When she just stared at him, angry gaze seeming to grow even hotter after his words, he continued, "They're Galra. They aren't inherently evil."

"The Galra destroyed Altea! They killed our mother and father!"

"Altea fell ten thousand years ago," Lance said. "Despite Zarkon's apparently long lifespan, I highly doubt any of the Blades were alive that long ago! And Keith certainly wasn't!" He continued, "They are led by an evil man and I will never deny that the Galran empire has done terrible, evil things. But the Galran Empire were Altea's allies for a long time. We grew up with Galran's all around us. You _know_  that Galrans aren't all evil."

Allura's eyes narrowed. And Lance had just a second to remember that his sister had the training to make sure her words hit right where it hurt, because she was supposed to be Altean's Queen and it would vital for her to know what not to say to her allies, before she said, "Perhaps you only think that because you were too busy fucking one to see what they were truly like."

Her words dug straight into Lance's insecurities, into all of the things he'd been wondering about since he'd woken up and learned what the Galran Empire had done in the last ten thousand years.

He had no doubt that Lotor's love for him had been real, but there was a whisper in his brain that wondered if their love had blinded him to something the way that Alfor's regard for Zarkon had blinded him.

"That was cruel," Lance told her. He knew his expression right after her words hit him hadn't been well controlled, but he made sure to keep his voice from shaking now. "And when you decide to stop letting hate and sadness blind you to the truth, you're going to regret having said that to me."

He didn't wait for her to say anything else before spinning on his heel and walking away. 

* * *

After she apologized to Keith, before their attack on Zarkon, Allura apologized to Lance.

Lance accepted the apology.

Lance let her wrap him in a hug afterwards, but even as they embraced he knew that this wasn't enough.

Things between them were never going to be the same.

Lance would never trust Allura with his heart, with his emotions and thoughts, the way he had when they were children.

And Lance was struck with the same feelings as he had been when he was nine and Allura had stopped playing with him, the feeling of being alone and unwanted. Only this time there was no Lotor to pop up on his balcony, no Lotor to sit beside him and assure him.

That feeling was probably what drove him to approaching the leader of the Blade of Mamora the first time the two groups met after Zarkon's defeat. 

* * *

"Excuse me, Kolivan?"

The Blades leader had been walking down the coridor, facing away from Lance, but at the sound of his name he stopped and turned.

"Ah," he said. "Lance."

It had taken a long time to get Kolivan to call him something other than 'Prince Lancil,' but Lance was relieved that the man had finally cottoned on to how uncomfortable his full name made him.

Nowadays, his full name was a painful reminder of the past. Lancil was for his parents, a name they called him only when their voices curled around the syllables with soft irritation or intense affection. Lancil was for his people, the name they used to speak about the caring, charismatic young Prince. Lancil was for Lotor and the way he always drawled Lance's name out, as if he was happy simply with the privilege of using Lance's name.

"How can I help you?" Kolivan asked.

"I was wondering if I could ask you something about the Galra," Lance said. He hummed a bit before adding, "It's something of a history question."

Kolivan tilted his head a bit, confusion and intrigue painting his expression. It was subtle, but Lance had learned a long time ago how to see through Galran masks of indifference. "It is not my area of expertise, but I will answer your question to the best of my ability."

There was a long moment before Lance finally gathered the words he wanted and said, "What happened to Prince Lotor?"

Kolivan looked at him just long enough for Lance to wonder if he knew what Lotor meant to him, just long enough for Lance to wonder if there were Galran history books and if they included an engagement that had fallen through when peace gave way to war. Then he said, "If you mean what happened to Prince Lotor directly after the fall of Altean, then the answer is that he disappeared for several millennia." Lance barely had time to register the words, barely had time to think about what something like that would mean, before Kolivan was continuing, "But several hundred years ago, Zarkon announced that he was sending his son into exile."

"Exile," Lance murmured, rolling the word around in his head. "Do you know why?"

"No," Kolivan said. "But the Blades have been keeping track of him for the last few decades."

"He's alive," Lance said, more to himself than the man in front of him.

"Yes," Kolivan agreed. "As for his exile, the Blade suspects that the reason for it might have to do with a difference of opinion between himself and his father. He's taken control of several planets and he has a much more hands free approach to ruling than his father. The places under Lotor's control largely govern themselves, aren't placed under the same restrictions as the rest of the Empire, and are often quite prosperous."

Lance was quiet for a moment, turning this information around in his head.

It sounded like Lotor was running his side of the Empire like Zarkon had before the fall of Altea, sounded like Lotor was still the man that Lance loved and had grown up with. But the fact of the matter was that there were several millennia unaccounted for in Lotor's history and Lance didn't know if Lotor had always felt the way or if he had been just as terrible as his father up until his exile.

"Do you think...." Lance asked, stopping before he could get out the words 'he's a good man?' He shook his head, straightening his shoulders so he was looking at Kolivan more directly. "Thank you for answering my questions."

"You are welcome," Kolivan said. "I hope my answers will be able to help you."

"They have," Lance said. "Thank you."

* * *

Blue rejected him.

And Lance pressed himself against her barrier, begging with his mouth and his mind.

For ten thousand years Blue was all he had.

In these years after his awakening, Blue was his constant. No matter how many things he lost, no matter how many times he went looking for something in the castle only to find it missing or how many times he told a story about a planet he would never see again or how many times he thought about a boy he thought he'd never kiss again, Blue was there.

Then she rejected him.

When Red called for him, Lance went. But he went knowing that he was never going to be able to open up to the Red Lion the way he had Blue, would never open up to any Lion the way he had opened up to Blue.

Losing Blue was probably why it hurt so bad when he found out the person they were fighting was Lotor.

It would have hurt regardless, he knew, but losing Blue as well only twisted the knife deeper into into his chest, only made finding out that Lotor wasn't on their side that much worst.

When Red called for him, Lance went. When Allura told him to fight Lotor, Lance went. But he went wishing that the world would stop taking things away from him, wishing that the world would give himself something for once. 

* * *

Lance stood in the front of the group as the Paladins waited for the Keith and the rebels to bring Lotor in, on the edge of the group but closer to the door than any of them. Part of him had wanted to hide in the back or make an excuse to not be here, to run to his room and lock himself in there, but a bigger part of him was eager to lay eyes on Lotor after so long apart.

Lance fought Lotor and understood why it was necessary, but Lance had loved Lotor for hundreds of years and that wasn't something that could be forgotten so easily, it wasn't something that faded so quickly.

The door slid open.

Lotor stumbled in. Matt and Keith were behind him, each one with a hand on Lotor's shoulders.

Lance looked over him, cataloging.

His hair was longer than Lance had ever seen it and curled at the ends, but that wasn't surprising since it'd been ten thousand years. Lance actually thought it should have been longer given that Lotor didn't let any but his mother cut it and his mother was gone. He wondered if Lotor had gotten over that, if this was one more thing that had changed when Lance wasn't looking. His skin was the same smooth violet as always, well taken care of. Lance thought he looked a little paler than normal though, as if he sick or bothered by something. His eyes were a purple-blue. A shade so different from Keith's dark purple that Lance wondered how he had ever mistaken Keith's eyes for Lotor, wondered if he had just been hoping so desperately to see Lotor that he saw what he wanted instead of what was there. Lance couldn't see any visible injuries, but there was something strange about the set of his shoulders. Like he'd popped something out of place. He didn't think it was noticeable to anyone who didn't know Lotor, to anyone who hadn't spent a childhood around Lotor's flexibility and worried about him when he over did it.

He looked as though he hadn't aged at all in ten thousand year, still as young as he was in Lance's memories and as heartbreakingly beautiful as he had always been.

His armor wasn't the same as it had been when they were children, though. Instead of the red his family had worn in Daibazaal, he wore the dark purples and blacks that the Galra wore now. There was more deviation to his armor though, more colors mixed in gave it a far more personal touch.

Lance's eyes roamed down long, muscled arms. Lance was sure the armor had had gauntlets at one point, but Keith and Matt had clearly taken them off in order to handcuff Lotor. That combined with the way that Matt and Keith had handcuffed Lotor, hands in front of him instead of behind, meant that Lance had a perfect view of the jewelry sitting around Lotor's thin wrist.

"You kept my token," Lance said, the words slipping from his lips without thought.

He heard Allura let out a sharp breath behind him, could practically see her stiffening even though she was at his back.

Lotor's eyes had been sweeping the room, but now he looked right onto Lance.

His expression had been closed, pride in the line of his shoulders and the tilt of his chin but nothing in his face, but now the mask fell away.

Shock and awe filled his eyes, slackened his jaw.

When he spoke it was a breathless whisper, "Lancil?"

Lance felt a shiver run down his spine at the sound of his name from Lotor's lips.

"You kept my token," Lance repeated, unable to focus on anything but Lotor and the fact that Lotor had kept the bracelet Lance had given him, the fact that Lotor still wore the token constantly and appeared to treasure it as it was meant to be. The crystal Lotor had given him was warm against Lance's chest, resting where it always did.

"Of course I did. I love you," Lotor said. Lance ignored the confused sounds the Paladins made, instead closing his eyes and reveling in the sound of Lotor's words. It had been _so long_  since someone told him they loved him, so long since he had heard those words from Lotor's mouth. "I thought my father had killed you. I thought your token was all I had left of you. I wasn't going to take it off ever."

"I still have yours too," Lance said, one hands raising to rest against the armor plate his necklace was tucked under. "I didn't know anything. I didn't know if you were involved in the destruction of my planet, if you were helping your father with everything he did then and everything he's done since, but I couldn't....I couldn't bring myself to take it off."

Something broken wedged itself into Lotor's expression. "Lancil, I tried to talk to my father about Altea. Instead of listening he -"

"Enough!" Allura's voice was loud, roaring. It might have startled Lance or drawn his attention if he wasn't so focused on Lotor, if he hadn't been deprived of the sight of the man he loved for so long. "You do not get to talk about Altea when you destroyed it! This reunion is over! Keith, Matt, there are cells in the castle lower levels. I'll show you where to put him."

Lotor looked as though he wanted to argue, but he was a prisoner in this situation and ultimately he squared his shoulders instead of fighting.

Lance wanted to argue too, but he knew he didn't have the type of relationship with his sister that would give him the power to question her in this. It was only made worst by the fact that the other Paladins had only just found out about his relationship with Lotor, they wouldn't back him up when he'd been hiding this from them.

So Lance held his tongue and watched as Allura pushed Lotor back into the elevators.

He kept his eyes on Lotor until it wasn't possible anymore

He had been trying over the past few weeks to separate his Lotor from the Lotor that existed now, trying to find a way to reconcile cut himself off from the man he loved and understand that he was an enemy. But now Lotor was here, wearing Lance's token after having saved Keith from a suicide run and practically handed him to the Paladins on a platter, and Lance didn't know what to think.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> 2) Allura is definitely a little out of character in this chapter, but I think Allura has the ability to be downright nasty when she's directly confronted the way Lance confronts her. She's a princess and a future Queen, others should not be questioning her choices in her opinion and the subject is probably just personal enough for her to be mean about it, especially given that she's talking to her brother. I think all of us with siblings are familiar with how nasty some sibling arguments can get?


	4. where we end up

Lance left the elevator, making his way down the long platform that separated it from the cell.

As he made his way down the walkway, he took in the figure sitting there.

Lotor was sat on the bench in the cell with his legs spread wide, elbows on his thighs and his hands clasped in between his legs. He was leaning forward, just a bit, and his eyes were trained on the ground. Even with his gaze focused downwards and his body in a prison, there was no trace of defeat in him. Instead there was a steel, a sort of determination and confidence and power, in the way he held himself. Lance knew that it came with growing up the way they had, growing up knowing how powerful you were going to be in the universe, because he and Allura often carried themselves the first way.

Lance looked at him and thought that it had been too long since he had seen him.

He was used to not being around Lotor, whether because Lotor was at his home in Daibazaal instead of Lance's home on Altea or because Lance was asleep for ten thousand years or because Lance was a Paladin of Voltron without any way to find out information on Lotor, but that didn't mean that he ever liked being separated from him.

Especially not now.

It may have been only a few weeks since Allura had Lotor brought to the prison cell, a few weeks since Allura banned Lance from coming to see Lotor, but Lance had spent a year before that wondering if Lotor was alive. The few minutes that he had gotten to see him hadn't been nearly enough after that.

"Lotor."

His head snapped up instantly, looking up to meet Lance's eyes. "Lancil." There was a moment where they just stared at each other before Lotor said, "I thought you weren't coming."

"Allura told me not to."

"You never listened to her before."

"She's been keeping an eye on me and keeping me busy when she can't," Lance said. He'd reached the cell now, standing close enough that if he took another step his nose would be against the glass. He debated for a moment before sinking down, folding his legs under him as he sat. He shifted a little closer, moving so his knees were against the glass. Lotor moved as soon as Lance did, leaving the bench in order to sit on the floor of his cell in front of Lance. If not for the cell separating them, their knees would have been touching. "This was the first time I could convince someone to occupy her so I could come see you."

Pidge and Hunk had bombarded Lance with questions about his relationship with Lotor as soon as Allura left the bridge with Keith and Matt following Lotor's capture. Shiro had stood by, listening to Lance talk, and had likely been the one to spread the story to Keith.

It had taken a while for any of them to stop feeling betrayed about Lance keeping this from them, to trust him given that he'd hid a relationship with a man that had been their enemy for weeks prior to his capture.

Things were improving now, though. With Pidge and Hunk more than Shiro and Keith, but Lance had always felt closer to the Green and Yellow Paladins anyway. He wanted his friendships with Shiro and Keith back, but it was easier to wait for them than it was to wait for Pidge and Hunk. Sometimes Lance missed Caspian and Arion with a sort of all encompassing sadness, wanted nothing more than to return to spending days on Altea with his friends. He had never wanted to lose the two of them. But he valued Hunk and Pidge's friendship and he was glad he had gotten the chance to meet them.

Lance hadn't, however, anticipated that the two of them would offer to help him with Allura, offer to help him see Lotor.

It had been a pleasant surprise. It went beyond simply them understanding that the past was the past. Helping him with this said something about their trust in him, said that they believed that if he talked to Lotor he wouldn't be led by the past but would make a decision based on the current information. And they had made it clear that whatever Lance decided, they would go along with. They wanted Lance to be happy and they trusted that whatever decision made him happy would be the best decision for all of them.

"We should talk," Lance said. "There are a lot of things I want to ask you."

"I'll answer any question you have," Lotor said.

"You haven't been that forthcoming with Allura and Shiro."

"I've given your sister and Black Paladin plenty of information on Galran tactics and plans," Lotor said. "But they are not you. They aren't my beloved. There is no reason for me to tell them information about my personal life."

"You didn't think you should answer Allura's questions about Altea?" Lance asked. He had wondered if he wanted to start the conversation with this question. It was a serious thing to start with, but it was important. Lotor's involvement with Altea's destruction would decide if Lance wanted to finish the conversation, if Lance believed the Lotor he was talking to was in any way the boy he had been in love with for so long. "It was her planet."

"Yes, but I don't have anything to tell her about Altea and what I do have to say is not for her. It's for you." Lotor's lips dropped, frown settling in. "I was not involved in the fall of Altea, Lancil. I promise you. I didn't find out my father was alive again until after he declared war. I was on a different ship since....since I couldn't stand to be around their bodies. When I met with him again, I tried to talk him out of it."

"And when he didn't listen, you stopped trying?"

"No," Lotor said, shaking his head. "I wouldn't have stopped arguing with him, not when it came to Altea. It was your home. It was _my_ home in someways. I would not have ever stopped fighting him."

"Then what happened?"

"He put me in a cyropod for several millennia," Lotor said. Lance had no reason to doubt Lotor, no reason to believe Lotor would lie to him, but if he had doubted him, the way Lotor seemed to shift in on himself as if huddling for warmth would have cleared the doubts. "When Haggar woke me, Altea had been gone for ages."

Perhaps it made Lance a selfish person, but finding out that Lotor hadn't been involved in the fall of Altea eased a burden inside of him.

He wasn't sure yet what Lotor had been doing since waking and it was possible that Lotor had been involved in plenty of the horrible things his father had done, but simply knowing that Lotor hadn't been involved in the destruction of _his_ people was enough for Lance to feel a rush of relief. 

* * *

Lance had been sitting in front of Lotor for hours, asking questions and listening to what Lotor told him.

The more he learned about Lotor's time away from him - about how Haggar had woken him up and taken him to the druids in an attempt to kick some of his Altean genes into gear, about the after hundreds of years of torture under her hands he could still barely manipulate quintessence, about how when she finally gave up on him his father had called him worthless and exiled him, how he'd found his generals and considered them each his family, how he had been trying to help people by taking their planets over so his father wouldn't - even if he was in exile Lotor's planets were part of the Galran Empire, how he had been fighting Voltron because they kept getting in the way of the good he was trying to do, how much it hurt to find out Narti was being possessed and how much it hurt to have to kill her, how much it hurt for his generals to betray him and how they had so easily believed that it had been easy to kill her - the more Lance found his walls falling down.

It was possible that Lotor was lying to him, but Lance had every bit of faith that that was a line Lotor wouldn't cross with him. And if he did try to lie, Lance felt pretty confident in his ability to tell. Ten thousand years had passed and Lotor had changed in his time awake, but there were so many parts of him that were still the Lotor that Lance had always known.

Seeing those parts of him still existing was enough for the walls that Lance had thrown up to fall and for the love that Lance had always felt for him to flood through his system again, for Lance to stop trying to push away his feelings for Lotor. Lotor wasn't the same person Lance had fallen in love with, but Lance was still in love with him and he was willing to learn to love the new things about Lotor.

They had moved on from talking about Lotor and started talking about Lance's time as a Paladin, because Lance didn't want to leave but he could see how exhausting their conversation was for Lotor, when Lance heard the whoosh of the elevator behind him moving.

Lance already knew who it would be, but if hadn't known he wouldn't have had to wait for very long, because the moment the elevator doors slipped open, Allura was calling out, "Lance! You aren't supposed to be down here!"

"You told me not to come," Lance said. He was reluctant to look away from Lotor, but he could hear Allura rapidly approaching them and he would rather not have her back to her in this moment. Lotor must have sensed how Lance felt because he gave Lance a small, encouraging smile. It was the type of look that they'd exchanged hundreds of times before in their childhood, calm and supportive because Lotor knew that was what Lance needed in times like this. Feeling slightly comforted, Lance took a deep breath before facing his sister. "You telling me something doesn't mean that I'm not supposed to do it. It means you don't want me to do it."

Allura's eyes narrowed. "I am your Princess."

"Yes, and I'm your Prince," Lance returned. "We are equals, Allura. You don't have any control over me."

Allura watched him for a moment before straightening her back. Lance could practically hear her words before she got them out, knowing exactly what Allura was like when she squared her shoulders like this. "I am the Crown Princess. There might not be many of us left, but I am still the next Altean Queen. You will listen to my commands."

Lance didn't want to leave Lotor, but he also knew that the more he pushed Allura the more she would push back and that could potentially end up breaking their relationship even further than it already was.

And despite everything Lance genuinely did understand why his sister acted the way she did, understood why she got so angry when it came to the Galra and why she pushed her authority so insistently. She could not let go of their planet, could not separate the Galra from the empire that had destroyed their planet and clung desperately to what she would have if Altea was still around.

"I'll leave for today," Lance said. He turned around to find Lotor had leveraged himself up off the floor, standing behind Lance. He gave a small smile, reaching out to set his hand against the glass that separated them for a moment. "I put you through a lot today. You should take a nap. I'll come see you some other time."

"Okay," Lotor agreed, reaching out to touch where Lance's fingers rested. "Goodbye, Lancil."

"I'll see you soon, Lotor."

* * *

A routine establishes itself over the course of Lotor's capture.

Allura and Shiro gather information from Lotor, Lance and the Paladins get sent on the missions that the Intel sets up for then, Allura and Shiro debrief with Lotor, Lance sneaks in to talk to Lotor, Allura finds out, and Allura and Lance fight.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Lance doesn't particularly like fighting with his sister, but Lance also isn't willing to let him push him around. Especially not when the decisions she's trying to make on his behalf aren't actually decisions she's making for his own good. Their decisions based in her grief and prejudice, passed in her struggle to realize that things are not always black and white, to realize that the past and the present and the future are all different things.

Things go on like this for a long time.

Then Zarkon calls them and offers Samuel Holt in exchange for Lotor. 

* * *

"He's alive! Our dad is alive! We have to get him back," Pidge exclaimed as she looked at Matt, words rushing out so quickly that they seem to trip over themselves.

Lance closed his eyes, not wanting to see the expression on her face. Not when he already knows that he's about to put himself at odds with one of his closest friends, with one of only two friends that he really has on this ship now. Lance knew how important her father was to Pidge.

He also knew how important Lotor was to him.

Pidge was willing to do whatever it took to get her father back. Lance was willing to do whatever it took to keep Lotor alive and with him.

"We're going to," Matt assured her. He looked over at Shiro and Allura, asking, "What's the plan, Shiro?"

"We can't rush into anything," Shiro told him. "We have to think this through."

"What's to think through?" Pidge demanded. "It's my dad. We're doing this."

"We need to operate under the assumption that Zarkon will try to double cross us," Shiro explained.

"We have Voltron!" Pidge said.

She opened her mouth to say more, but her words gave Lance the perfect opportunity to make it clear where he stood.

"No, you don't," Lance said, interrupting. The entire room turned to look at him. He opened his eyes and met their gazes head on. He had made his decision. He wasn't shying away from it. "You need either Keith or I to form Voltron. Keith can't be pulled away form the Blade of Mamora in time for this mission. And I won't participate. Not if it means handing Lotor over to Zarkon."

Rage filled Pidge's expression.

"Zarkon has my father!" she said, voice a loud roar of anger. "He could kill him!"

"And if we give Lotor to Zarkon, then he _will_  kill Lotor," Lance said. There was a line being drawn in the sand between them and Lance was well aware of which side he was standing on. Lance didn't regret his choice, but he wanted Pidge to know, "I'm sorry. I know how important your father is to you. But Lotor is important to _me_  and I won't send him to his death in exchange for a man I don't know."

"You aren't in charge here," Allura said. Lance had been focused on Pidge, wanting to at least look her in the face if he was going to doom her father, but now he looked over at Allura. Her eyes were blazing with anger, as if Lance had just chosen to kill their own father for Lotor and not Pidge's.

"No, I'm not in charge," Lance agreed, "but I have more power than you do right now. You _can't_  form Voltron without me and we all know how stupid it would be to try and take on Zarkon without Voltron."

The air was crackling with energy, anger and rage filling the space.

It was Shiro who spoke next, voice cutting through all of the negative emotions in the room, "I think we should talk to Lotor first." Pidge began to open her mouth, but before she could get the words out, Shiro continued, "I'm not saying that because I think we should give up on retrieving Sam." He cut a glance at Lance before adding, "Or because I think giving Lotor up is the right option. But Lotor knows his father better then the rest of us and it's possible he can give us insight we wouldn't have otherwise. Maybe he has Intel which will allow us to save Sam and keep Lotor."

"No," Lance said, shaking his head. Before he could get snapped at, he said, "I'm fine with saving them both. But if Lotor gives you intel that helps with that, then he's no longer a prisoner. If he helps us take on Zarkon directly, then you stop treating him like an enemy."

There was another beat before Shiro said, "The Princess and I would have to discuss that with our allies before we make any guarantees. However, I think that's a reasonable request."

"Shiro!" Allura said, voice raising harshly. It was just one word, but she said in a tone as sharp as the crack of her whip.

"It's a reasonable request," Shiro repeated. "I'm not telling Lance that it'll amount to anything, just that we'll discuss it."

Allura pursed her lips, but she didn't argue further.

Lance had a feeling that the 'discussion' was going to involve a lot of his sister screaming. 

* * *

"Excuse me. Black Paladin, may I have a moment alone with Lancil before we leave?" Lotor requested.

The entire team, plus Matt and Lotor, were standing in the Castle's bridge, preparing to make the 'swap' with Zarkon. The information Lotor had given them had been enough to come up with a plan which met both Pidge and Lance's standards. If everything went okay then Samuel Holt would be safe with his children and Lotor would be free. If it didn't go according to plan...well, there was an understanding in the air that both Pidge and Lance might be dropping out of formation to protect what they held dear.

When Shiro didn't immediately agree, Lotor added, "I have no plans to run away. I _want_  to face my father. However, I might die doing that and I would appreciate the opportunity to say goodbye to a loved one before doing so."

Lance pursed his lips together, unhappy.

One of the major hold ups in getting their plan underway had been getting Lance to agree to that detail. He didn't like the idea of Lotor facing his father directly, no matter how many times Lotor expressed his desire to take his father on.

"Okay," Shiro agreed, nodding a little. He gestured with his hand, "Matt, Pidge, let's head to the ship. Princess, Hunk, go to your Lions. Coran, give these two five dobashs or so and then make sure they head where they're supposed to, yeah?"

There was a murmur of agreement

Lance waited until the team had scattered before turning to Lotor, telling him, "You are not dying today."

"I have no intentions of dying," Lotor said. "But the fact of the matter is that my father is stronger than me and there is a chance that things will not work out the way we are hoping, Lancil."

"No," Lance said, keeping his words firm.

He stepped forward, bringing himself close to Lotor. The Galran reached out for him instantly, grabbing Lance's hand and slipping his fingers between Lance's own. Lance wondered, briefly, when the last time they had held hands like this was. This wasn't the first time they'd touched in ten thousand years, but they had been keeping some distance between them since Lotor had been let out of his cell. In part because courtship meant that they had got used to being secretive about most of their affection and in part because Lance knew it would only cause tempers to flare if he was openly affectionate with Lotor in front of the team.

"My planet is gone, Lotor. My people are dead. My _father and mother_ are dead. My sister and I haven't been close since we were children and things are strained more than ever now. For ten thousand years, I had Blue, but she gave me to Red in favor of my sister," Lance said. He squeezed Lotor's hand, tight enough that Lotor's jaw tightened and Lance knew he was hurting him. Not a lot, but enough for his words to have an extra kick. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," Lotor said. He stepped closer, bringing them so close that Lance could feel Lotor's breath against his skin as he spoke. "I will do my best not to leave you alone, Lancil."

Lance's eyes narrowed. "That's not a promise to come back."

"No, it's not," Lotor agreed. "But I will not lie to you, so it's the best I can right now."

Lance pressed his lips together. He understand what Lotor was saying, but that didn't mean he was happy about it.

There was a moment of silence before Lotor said, "Lancil." There was something soft and vulnerable in his voice that had Lance shifting backwards. Not because he didn't want Lotor close, but because he felt like he should put himself somewhere that allowed him a better look at Lotor. "I would like to make it clear to you that I want to continue our courtship. I understand that it might seem like a silly thing to say given that we still wear our tokens and how w have been acting but....given the circumstances of our intial engagement and how things have changed I thought it should be said."

"I'd like to continue the courtship as well," Lance said. He leaned up, bringing their lips together in a soft kiss. When he pulled away, he put his hands on either side of Lotor's face and brought their foreheads together. Softer and with all of the affection he felt for Lotor in his voice, he repeated, "So don't die today."

Lotor avoided answering by tipping forward to press their lips together a second time. 

* * *

The mission went to shit, but it ended up turning out okay.

Pidge and Matt get their father back.

Lotor killed his father.

Despite Lotor's eagerness to do it, Lance found himself wondering how that would effect Lotor in the long term. Zarkon might not have been the father to Lotor that he had been when they were younger, but it wasn't as though Lotor had forgotten his childhood. Lotor still remembered the man that Zarkon was before, still remembered when his father had been distant because he was busy but had always taken the time to help Lotor with his training, to tell Lotor that he was proud of him when he did well, to make sure that his son knew that he was loved even if his parents were too busy to pay attention to him the way most parents did.

Lance knew that there would be a lot to do now, that Lotor would likely get swept up in things to keep his mind off of the memories. But one day they would rear their head, one day Lotor would struggle with knowing he had done the right thing while also remembering the man his father had once men.

Lance wanted to be there for him when they did. 

* * *

"Shiro."

"Lance," Shiro said, twisting to see the other Paladin. There was a not-quite smile on his face, an expression that came with destroying ones major enemy for the first time. Lance felt a little guilty knowing that he would be the one to wipe that look off. "What's up?"

"You need to get in contact with the Blade of Mamora soon," Lance told him.

"Alright," Shiro said, speaking slowly. "Why?"

"You'll need Keith back after the Kral Zera." Lance closed his eyes for a moment, swallowing thickly. He had been engaged to Lotor for his entire life. He had always known that one day Lotor would be Emperor and Lance would leave Altea's Castle for a new home, but that didn't make it any easier to think about leaving his home, didn't make it any easier to get these words out. "When Lotor leaves the Castle, I'm leaving with him. You'll need Keith to pilot Red."

Shiro froze.

Silence settled for a long time.

It was Lance who broke it, saying, "I'm sorry."

"No, no," Shiro said, Lance's words seeming to snap him out of whatever daze Lance's announcement had put him in. "You don't have to apologize. I wasn't expecting this but...I suppose it's not really surprising that you want to stay with him." A quiet beat. Then, "But, Lance, are you sure? Allura's not going to like this." A wince. "None of the others are going to like this."

"I know," Lance said. He knew that even if Lotor was Voltron's ally now, the others would see his leaving with Lotor as an abandonment. He remembered how they had all acted when Keith had left, how they had let him go but how they had all be angry with him for choosing to do so. But well... "But I would rather have everyone angry at me than be separated from him again. I want to be with him again. I want to be by his side and I want him by mine."

* * *

The Kral Zera was mess.

It didn't change Lance's mind.

He was done being Prince Lancil of Altea, second child of King Alfor.

He was done being a Paladin of Voltron, Blue and Red.

He was ready to be Lancil, consort of Emperor Lotor of the Galran Empire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hello everyone! I know this fic moved fast and there are definitely things I could expand on in a larger universe, but honestly I'm still pretty happy with this piece. Hopefully everyone enjoyed reading it and was pleased with the ending/thought the ending made sense at least?
> 
> 2) This actually was not meant to end the way it did, but the more I wrote this chapter and struggled with how to form it the more I realized that THIS ending was the only way this fic COULD end. 
> 
> 3) SO WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THIS FIC? Well, I'm glad you asked. First off, Lotor's character doesn't get assassinated. He has not been committing genocide and being...you know, just like his father despite that being his greatest nightmare. Instead he's been taking care of the Altean colony properly because he loves Lance?? and taking care of the Altean colony was a way for him to remember Lance. Lance is absolutely ECSTATIC to find out that his people aren't all dead and he tells Allura about them the next time he and Lotor are in contact with Voltron. Lotor does, however, still have the Sincline. He just made it differently? It's piloted by Lotor, Acxa, because Acxa has always been on Lotor's side lmao she was just keeping an eye on the other generals bc she loves them too, and Lance since it's obviously a remake of Voltron. So basically it's piloted by true love and sassy friendships. And guess what!! The Paladins all get to go back to a perfectly safe Earth because Voltron hasn't created a power vacuum by killing both Zarkon and Lotor without having a Plan C!
> 
> And eventually, Lotor and Lance go down in history as the most important rulers of the Galran Empire. They are the rulers that begin to rebuild the Empire, not as a murderous dictatorship but as a peaceful Empire. They bring the Empire out of the dark ages caused by Zarkon's reign.


End file.
